As I'm sat on the sofa in my PJs, the highs of Christmas Day all but a distant memory, confused as to what day it really is and waiting for the new year to grace us with it's presence, I reflect on the year gone by.
2019 has been a challenging year. In all honesty, there were times when it completely destroyed me. I have felt lost, so overwhelmingly lost that I became reunited with a long-lost friend called rock bottom. I was riding a particularly unpredictable wave throughout much of 2019 and often felt as if I was just a mere shell of my former self.
But the highs and lows of 2019 taught me many valuable lessons that I plan on carrying with me into the new year …
1. This year more than any other has reinforced that sometimes I really do have to put myself first and do what’s best for me. The events of the year have made me get really honest with myself, forcing me to own up and not feel guilty for how I’m feeling. The truth is, we all have bad days - days where we feel low and not at all like ourselves. But it's how we pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and move forward with our lives that truly matters.
2. The year began with hurt and sadness and saw me make the conscious decision to take a step away from university for the sake of my mental and physical health. Bullying was something I didn’t think I would have to continue to deal with in an environment like university but nonetheless, here I am on a year's break discovering what the world has to offer, instead of being sat in a boring poetry lecture.
3. It also took a good friend of mine to remind me that the universe works in mysterious ways, and that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck as something bigger and better was meant for you all along. I have learnt through the experiences in my life that everything happens for a reason and nothing is put upon you that the universe doesn't think is right for you. I have gained so much inner strength and renewed confidence in myself towards the end of this year and can truly say, with a hand on my heart, to those sitting in the dark that if you look, better, brighter and bigger things are always yet to come.
4. Lesson number four is that the universe removes people from your life for a reason. This one really hit home this year. I lost a lot of people from my life that I had previously considered a friend but the events of 2019 really enabled me to see their true colurs. As much as I always look to see the positives in people, I am not naive to a persons capablilties to be toxic and know that it is best for me to move on and focus on growing friendships with those that remain by my side through thick and thin. As a result I have learnt that every once in a while you need to step back in order to see where you should cut ties with people, places and other things in your life that no longer serve you.
5. I bit the proverbial bullet and started this blog! The quote "feel the fear and do it anyway" springs to mind and is one that I plan on taking forward with me into 2020 - and who knows where that will take me!
“It’s from our broken that we bloom” - I head into 2020 with a grateful heart, having released all of the sadness and the hurt that I have felt in 2019. I am ready and I trust in the next chapter of my life because I am the author of my own story, and I can’t wait for adventures that are yet to come.
What’s the best piece of advice you have received this year that you are taking with you into 2020?
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